Monday, March 14, 2011

Thoughts from the Grocery Store

The new item you've been wanting try that's on sale and for which you have a kick-ass coupon is out of stock.  There will be plenty on the shelf when you think to look again, it is no longer on sale and the coupon is expired.

The reason all that half and half in the half gallon carton is on sale (even the fat free kind you use!) is because the usually long expiration dates are getting close.

Other shoppers are more important than you.  Therefore, it is perfectly acceptable for them to leave their cart(s) parked in such a way as to prevent you from passing by.  And they are also allowed to give you a dirty look for touching their cart to move it.

The employees stocking the shelves will deposit an 8 foot tall stack of boxes right in front of the shelf from which you want to grab something.

Phew! You're not the only one that sings along and dances to the piped in oldies.

Oh goody!  They have a few packages of chicken feet today!

I remember the days when cabbage was on sale for $0.10 per pound for St. Patrick's day. Now it's a whopping $0.25 per pound!

Is that pre-teen boy in line with his Mom in front of you a.) home-schooled  b.)skipping school or c.) home sick (he does have awfully casual pants on that could be PJ's) and therefore spreading his germs to everyone in the store? 

To the bagger: I provided more than enough bags to hold my groceries.  There is no need to put all of the heavy items into one bag just because they "fit."  Perhaps some of those items could have been placed in the bag that held only a roll of aluminum foil.  Or maybe into one of the EMPTY bags.

You know you look frazzled when instead of telling you the usual "you're going to miss this age" the nice elderly lady parked next to you says "It's going to be one of those days.  I don't miss it at all", as she watches you wrestle your screaming and kicking 2 year-old into his car seat (all because you wouldn't allow him to open his door all the way and dent the nice elderly lady's car).

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